My laptop wasn’t working properly and a close friend recommended a guy to fix it. Before he arrived, I’d teased my 96 year old Granny and her 70 year old friend that I’d ordered a stripper and he was in route. The Queen and her friend dismissed me with a wave and a laugh… but I had a plan.

When “Magic Mac” arrived, I opened the door and asked if he was stripper I’d ordered. He immediately went into character and started gyrating, twerking and grinding on the floor. With raised eyebrows and “eyes wide shut”, my Granny and her friend sat paralyzed as they watched “Magic Mac” dance and grind all over the living room floor. I was shocked at how good the performance was, but I couldn’t contain my laughter and fell on the floor in tears. Those 2 ladies got a shock and thrill of a lifetime – it was PRICELESS!!

After we gained our composure, I escorted him to my office to work on my laptop. We talked and laughed about his performance, and kept the convo going as he worked on my computer. While waiting for an update, we discussed the family pics in my office. He selected a picture of me, gave a very nice compliment, and licked it!!! (I don’t know WHYYY I have all of these licking/tongues encounters) It was my turn to sit shocked ad paralyzed as “Magic Mac” enjoyed licking my portrait. I guess I deserved that – especially after what I’d done to Granny.

Don’t ask me how we moved forward from that – I have NO idea. As he worked on my laptop, he asked to play a random video to see if it worked. As the video played, it showcased church members expressing appreciation. “Magic Mac” froze in place as his niece came onto the screen talking- this dark skinned Brother turned beet redTurns out- his niece and I attended the same church! (Karma, Karma, Karma) It was his turn to be stunned to silence as he realized the error of his actions. Embarrassed, he quickly decided to take my laptop and repair it at the shop. “Magic Mac” made a quick exit, and barely said goodbye. After texting several apologies, we talked and enjoyed several conversations. “Magic Mac” fixed my computer and charged FULL PRICE! (Fair enough- we didn’t “make it rain” during his performance)

“Magic Mac” and I hit it off and conversed the next few weeks. One evening, he FaceTime me, and we discussed his day while he relaxed in his short dashiki. Caught up in the convo, he sat on the couch and placed the phone on the coffee table. A few minutes passed, and he questioned the look on my face. I informed him of my direct frontal view. He looked down and the look of horror on his face was indescribable – I thought this man was going to die of embarrassment- he flipped the phone so fast, I thought he broke it. He mumbled several apologies and ended the call. I never heard back from “Magic Mac” again, I guess he felt he just couldn’t recover after his indecent exposure.

Weeks of time, energy and getting to know someone is exhausting; this dating life ain’t for the faint of heart. Don’t give up because I’m not- Keep Soaring.