My healing journey has been a painful, ugly, and difficult process.  One day, scrolling the internet, I clicked on a video illustrating the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly.  The process was quite repulsive, and at times it was difficult to watch, but I was intrigued. As my stomach churned, I couldn’t imagine how a beautiful and magnificent creature could emerge from such a disgusting place. Later, it dawned on me that the caterpillar’s metamorphosis and my healing journey were very similar.

Both transformations required us to no longer feed solely from one source for supplements and sustainability. We needed to become independent and break familiar, unhealthy bonds and habits. As our transitions progressed, we made a hard decision to detach and hang out on a limb, in hopes that a change would come. It was only then, that our old skin begin to shed and other unnecessary parts shrivel. Feelings of anticipation for a new life was invigorating; unknowingly, we hadn’t entered our most difficult stage of transformation.  And just when we are comfortable, the next shift began.  

Both the caterpillar and I regurgitated everything digested from our previous resource. The gyrating action left us confused and unsure.  To soothe our bewildered souls, we returned to the familiar and made a cocoon from the regurgitated substances. Feeling at ease in the familiar, we rested; but progress was still taking place. New discoveries of thoughts, wings and ideas birthed. And what once secured and comforted us, was no longer beneficial for our future selves. As we discarded the old, our wings grew and expanded. Who knew that this painful adaptation could resurrect a beautiful creature, full of life and liberty. Releasing our place of comfort opened the opportunity for growth and flight.    

As I viewed that metamorphosis video, I learned, “true self-discovery begins where your comfort zone ends.” Facing my past and speaking my fears has been challenging, yet liberating. My past and present were in constant conflict, and the only relief was to face the demons that kept me gagged and bound. Keeping my traumas bottled up inhibited my  healing, and I couldn’t move forward. It was beneficial for me to release the things that no longer added value, in order to embrace my new.  

Transformation is rarely pleasant; however, once the process begins, you’ll discover the beauty that was always inside. I pray my transparency of healing and rebirth helps others in their journey. Writer Marianne Williams states it best: “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” May my light and liberty guide others to liberation.